Rule #1 to Protect Kids Online: Parents Are in Charge

A new book from a prominent American psychologist and academic underscores the leading role for parents and caregivers in protecting children from harms online, echoing ALEC model policy solutions that combine targeted regulation, evidence-based parenting strategies, and free-market parental control tools to keep kids safe online.

Parents, educators, school administrators, policymakers, and, frankly, anyone who regularly interacts with kids and teenagers on a regular basis, are paying more attention than ever to how modern technology and smart devices are impacting child development. Our shared goal is to promote the physical and mental health of children, and to support families with resources that ensure the age-appropriate use of technology and social media.

Across the kid’s online safety policy discourse currently sweeping the nation, NYU social psychologist Dr. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, has become a leading authority figure. Haidt’s research has sparked an unprecedented wave of legislative and regulatory activity at the federal, state, and local levels, receiving bipartisan praise from former President Obama as well as First Lady of Virginia Suzanne Youngkin.

Readers of Haidt have likely also encountered the work of San Diego State University psychology professor Dr. Jean Twenge, whose 2017 book iGen extensively studied the potential impact of smartphones and the internet on the development of Generation Z and Generation Alpha youth.

So how are policymakers applying these findings in legislation?

The Anxious Generation and iGen primarily focus on promoting increased mindfulness of technology use, building a likeminded community of parents, and taking steps to promote healthier screen habits or offering guidance to children. However, many public officials—from school boards to the halls of Congress—have interpreted this to mean that strict government intervention is the logical remedy to protect kids from the physical and mental health tragedies plaguing many American youth today.

For example, a proposed bill recently approved by the California Legislature would require platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok to publish mandatory un-skippable “health warnings,” declaring that social media “can have a profound risk of harm to the mental health and wellbeing of children and adolescents.” Other states like Utah and Texas have recently enacted legislation imposing compulsory age verification on all mobile app store users in an attempt to curtail minors from accessing harmful content online or succumbing to mental health impacts.

Supervising children’s online activities is often described as an impossible task. And try as they might, the government’s impact on youth mental health can’t compete with parents, who must be involved in any public policy solutions regarding online safety.

Twenge’s latest book—10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World—seeks to tackle this problem head-on by providing parents actionable steps to set the right boundaries and guardrails, modeling responsible technology use, and setting screen time limits for their own children.

Notably, Twenge’s number one rule—You’re in Charge—is a blunt reminder that parents, not the government, hold the power over what goes on in their households. She recommends combining clear parental rules on technology use with warmth and flexibility as the ideal approach to raising healthy children.

Experts tend to agree parents should be in the driver’s seat. As Eva Moskowitz, the founder of Success Academy Charter Schools, wrote in A+ Parenting, parents “can and should play a critical role in their children’s intellectual development.” When it comes to excessive screen time or technology use, “The truth is that the responsibility lies with us [parents].” This solemn responsibility cannot be outsourced to government actors.

However, the good news is parents do not have to do this alone. Twenge’s sixth rule—Use Parental Controls—highlights the importance of enabling the native parental control and content filtering tools integrated into all modern smart devices, as well as considering commercial-off-the-shelf products designed with kids in mind, such as the Bark Phone or the Gabb Watch.

And when it comes to the use of personal cell phones in the classroom, ALEC’s Limiting Student Use of Cell Phones in K-12 Classrooms model policy provides an excellent framework for state legislators to implement Twenge’s tenth rule—Advocate for No Phones During the School Day. The ALEC model provides flexibility for communities to tailor a cell phone policy to the specific needs of their schools and families, and provides reasonable exceptions for students using devices for medical conditions, such as continuous glucose monitoring devices, and for those with an individualized education plan (IEP).

As Congress and the states continue to debate the path forward on kids safety, legislators should look to ALEC’s model policies below that focus on teaching students responsible technology use, promoting free-market parental controls and safety solutions, and minimizing distractions in the classroom. By educating kids, empowering parents, and supporting families, lawmakers can foster a safer online environment and implement the necessary safeguards that will protect their kids from the latest digital threats.

ALEC Resources:

ALEC Statement of Principles for Teen Use of Social Media

Model Policy: Teen Social Media and Internet Safety Act

Model Policy: Limiting Student Use of Cell Phones in K-12 Classrooms

For Continued Reading:

10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World (September 2025) – Dr. Jean Twenge

The Anxious Generation (March 2024) – Dr. Jonathan Haidt

A+ Parenting: The Surprisingly Fun Guide to Raising Surprisingly Smart Kids (October 2023) – Eva Moskowitz

iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood—and What That Means for the Rest of Us (September 2018) – Dr. Jean Twenge